Walk Away
by jch
Summary: Matt Hardy, Amy Dumas, Ashley Massaro, Sam: Five years after the debacle, Matt is with Ashley, they have had a child. Matt is unsure of the relationship while Amy, still single, it trying to move on with her life.
1. Chapter 1

**Synopsis:** Basically, it's set in theory in 2010. Five years after the Matt/Amy/Adam debacle, Matt has since had a child (Isabelle) with Ashley, while Amy is enjoying the peak of her career, though still single. In the usual dramatic fashion, Matt continues to recognise the fact that his relationship with Amy was never truly resolved, and as a result, it is negatively effecting his relationship with his fiance and partner, Ashley.

**Caution:** Occasional course language

**Main players: **Matt Hardy, Amy Dumas, Ashley Massaro, Sam (Character) and other various individuals.

Chapter 1:

"Matt, can you look after Isabelle? I just wanted to see if I could hit the gym for an hour."

He nodded, "Sure Ash. Take your time. I love you."

"I love you too babe." She leaned forward and kissed him as she picked up her bag and headed towards the door.

"Dad, can you come and play with me?" his four year old daughter asked.

"Sure baby. What do you want to play?" He could not help but smile when he looked at her.

"I don't know," she laughed.

"Izzy, do you have any idea what you want to play?" Matt picked her up and sat her on his lap.

"No. What do you want to play?" She laughed once again.

Matt placed the strands of her blonde hair behind her left ear gently, "I don't mind."

"I love you Daddy," she said out of nowhere.

"I love you too honey." Matt mentally acknowledged that it was these moments in his life that he needed to cherish.

"Like you love Mommy?" she asked.

He stopped for a moment before he replied. "No, I love your Mom in a different way."

"What do you mean?"

"Well…I love you because you're the most important thing in my life and it's impossible not to love you. I love your Mommy because she is your Mommy." He was not sure how to answer the question.

Matt did not hear Ashley walk back into the kitchen to retrieve her forgotten keys from the kitchen table.

"So you can love lots of people?"

Matt nodded, "Exactly."

"Did you love that lady in the picture over there?" she asked, pointing to a photograph of himself, Jeff, his father and Amy at No Mercy 2000.

"Why would you ask that honey?"

"Because you're smiling at her in the picture like you smile at Mom," she observed

He sat in slight shock for a moment, "She was an old friend, and you know Amy. She was at your Uncle Jeff's birthday last year."

"So you love her like you love Mommy?" she again questioned.

"No, in different ways."

"How?"

"Well Izzy, Amy, like your Mom, was very beautiful, and smart and funny. And she was a really close friend of mine for a long time. This was a long time before you were born though and before I met your Mom." Matt looked at the photograph and smiled slightly.

"So you did love her Daddy?"

"Yes, honey, I did very much."

"How much? Like Mommy?" she asked again.

Matt shook his head, grinning, "Isabelle Moore, stop asking me questions that I can't answer. Didn't you want to play a game?"

"Okay, I want to play a game." She jumped off of his lap and ran towards the basketball in the corner of the room.

Ashley's head dropped slightly as she walked out the door, disappointed with Matt.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Matt and Ashley lay in bed as he wrapped his arm over her upper body, "Good night mama."

Ashley took his arm and held it softly with her hands, "Are you sure that we're ready to get married?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, surprised.

"I mean, are we ready?" she questioned, grasping his arm tighter.

"Ash, we've been together five years. We have a daughter. We live together. I think we're ready," he replied. He kissed her neck reassuringly.

"I'm just not sure that you're geared up to."

"Why?" Matt was confused.

"I don't know. It just sometimes feels like you feel forced into our situation."

"Ash, I couldn't be happier. You gave me a beautiful child…" He was stopped.

"I know, you love Isabelle. I mean, do you feel forced to stay with me?" The question lingered for a moment.

"No. God no! I love you." He again kissed her neck reassuringly.

"I know. I just feel like you're sometimes thinking about…" She was stopped.

"We're not on this again, are we? I love you." Matt realised that he was also trying to convince himself.

"I just…I heard you talking to Isabelle today. And…"

"…And she asked me about Amy. I answered her honestly. I told her that I loved Amy very much, because I did at a point in my life. But I am no longer at that point in my life. Do you understand that?"

Ashley was still not swayed. "Matt, I am probably shooting myself in the foot here, but do you need some time?"

"For what?" Matt knew the answer.

"To work some things out…to see if this is where you want to be in your life."

Matt shook his head and protested, "Fuck no…I don't need some time. I love you and I want to marry you Ashley. How can I make you believe that?"

Ashley took a deep breath and turned to him. "You can give yourself some space for a few days and work out where you want to be. And if you decide it's with me, then I could not be happier. I just don't want to make this commitment if there are doubts between us. Okay?"

He nodded, "Okay. I've got a flight at seven in the morning, I'll stay in New York for a couple of days if you want. That will give me some time to think. Agreed?"

"Yeah, agreed." She took his arm again and held it close to her chest.

Matt leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, "I love you."

"I know. Good night." She closed her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

"Amy, are you ready to go out in fifteen?" Trish asked, pulling up her left elbow pad.

Amy pulled the headphones from her iPod out of her ears, "Yeah, I'm ready."

She stood up and walked over to the bench to pick up her water bottle, "Are you ready?" she asked sarcastically, taking a sip.

"Yeah, I'm ready," she replied gruntingly, imitating Amy.

Amy laughed, "Very funny."

Trish nodded, "I thought it was."

Amy looked at her cell phone, it was vibrating. She picked it up, "Hello?"

"Amy, it's Matt."

Slightly shocked, she replied. "Matt…how are you?"

"I'm great. I'm in New York right now, are you at MSG?" he asked.

She was confused, "Ah, yeah. Why?"

He looked at his watch, "It's nine now, I was just wondering if you wanted to catch up after the show?'

"Um…yeah, sounds good."

"Okay, well, I'll catch a cab now and meet you after the show?" he queried.

"Great. I'll see you then. Bye." Amy closed her cell.

Trish looked at Amy. "What was that about?" she asked, pulling up her other elbow pad.

"He wants to catch up after the show I guess," Amy replied. She was still in a state of confusion herself.

"That's kind of random. He's engaged to Ashley now?"

Amy nodded, "As far as I know."

"Then why does he want to see you?" Trish asked the obvious question.

"I don't know. To talk I guess. We are friends Trish."

Trish affirmed her friend's theory, "Yeah, you are. Oh well, I have to go get ready for my match. I'll see you in a few hours."

Trish left the dressing room as Amy continued to solve the beckoning question of why Matt had wanted to see her.

Matt stood in front of the monitor, waiting for Amy, occasionally speaking to one of the crew. As a few more minutes passed, Amy walked through the door with her bags in hand.

Matt smiled, "Hey, can I grab your bag?" he offered.

Amy obliged, "If you must," she laughed.

He leaned forward and hugged her, "It's good to see you Amy."

"Yeah, it's good to see you too," she agreed, hugging him back.

"So what's news?" he asked, as they walked out of the arena, towards the street.

"Not much, just work. You know how it is."

"Yeah, I know. But I'm not working house shows at the moment," he said teasingly.

"Yeah, unfair, but oh well. How's Ashley?"

"She's great. She's at home," he replied.

"How's Isabelle?"

Matt's face lit up, "She's great…she's perfect." He stopped himself.

"I know that you could go on for hours talking about her," Amy said.

They continued to walk.

"I could go on for days."

"I'm glad you're happy Matt," she commented honestly.

Matt swapped the bag with his other hand, "I really am. She's amazing."

"Just Isabelle?" Amy questioned.

"Both of them," Matt added.

"So what brings you here?"

"I had to catch up on some business and I knew you'd be in town," he lied.

Amy noticed the tone in his voice. "Seriously, why are you here Matt?"

Matt raised his hands in defence, "Honestly? I just wanted to see an old friend…no ulterior motive. I promise."

They walked out onto the street and ran into the cab that had just pulled over.

"West Street please," Matt said to the taxi driver.

"Alright," the driver said as he drove

Matt turned to Amy, "So how's life treating you?"

Amy pulled a few hairs behind her left ear, "Very well. How about you?"

"Amazingly. I love my work; I have a beautiful little girl…"

"…You are engaged." She ended his sentence.

"That too," he said, forcing a smile.

"I am really happy for you," she said, looking out the window. "Ashley seems really great. She got you to grow up."

"Yeah, she is. I just, I don't know. Sometimes, I feel like I should be doing this a different way." He looked out the window.

"What do you mean?" she enquired.

"I don't know. Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you and I had stayed together and had a family?"

Amy nodded, "Yeah, from time to time. I always envisioned us in your house, with a couple of renovations. Three dogs, three kids and a college debt up to our necks," she laughed.

"Two boys and a girl?" he laughed in return.

"Exactly! It went boy, girl, boy. And we'd have this massive SUV to take the kids to the beach for summers. Oh yeah, we would have a house in Myrtle Beach where we would spend our summers."

"You had it all figured out." Matt beamed.

"Yeah, a long time ago. A life time ago." She had finished.

"I always thought I'd end up with this stereotypical blonde bombshell…and then I thought for a long time that I'd end up marrying you," he said.

Amy smiled, "Well, you ended up with your first wish at least."

"Yeah," he replied, almost disappointedly.

"It's amazing how things have changed. I mean, ten years ago we were travelling together and we were together. You were in a tag team with Jeff, we were our own little unit. Now you're a father, you're engaged and you've got your own future college debt."

"But no SUV yet," he said with a laugh.

"Maybe one day."

He shifted the conversation. "Ashley thinks that I don't want to get married."

Amy lifted her eyebrows in shock, "Why?"

"I don't know. She thinks that I am with her because of Isabelle."

Amy asked the both burning and necessary question: "Are you?"

"I don't think so."

"That was convincing," she said sarcastically.

"Izzy has probably played a role in that I guess."

Amy thought for a moment, "How long were you to together before you got pregnant?"

Matt mentally deliberated, "Seven months."

"So you were together seven months before you had this massive thing in your life?"

"Yeah, pretty much," he agreed.

"So you two never really had that much time to develop as a couple before Izzy, right?"

"Yeah," he once again agreed.

"Maybe your relationship has not fully developed then," she suggested.

He turned around and looked at her, "Probably. It's totally different to what we had."

"Every relationship is different Matt," she noted.

"I know. But, it's hard to explain. With you, I was certain of where I wanted us to go. I knew what I wanted from that relationship. You get what I mean?" he questioned.

"Matt, we were together nearly seven years. We didn't have a kid. Therefore you had more opportunity to feel certain about our future."

Matt rolled down the window an inch. "Good point. When did you become wise?"

"In the past five years Matt," she said, looking out the window.

"Ash and I, we never do this. We never randomly talk about the future or what we want from each other. I mean, we talk about where we want to send Izzy to school or where we want to spend next Christmas. But we never talk about kids, or cars or imaginary homes…I do love her, you know?"

"I know. That's because every relationship is different Matt. That was something we had…that does not necessarily mean it's something you'll have with a different partner."

"I know…oh well, I'm getting married…that's the main thing. Are you seeing anyone?" He rolled the window back up as it began to rain.

"Kind of. I'm dating on and off, but nothing serious."

"Anyone special?" he queried.

Amy became amused at the prospect, "Can you imagine anyone who would want to date someone who is on the road three hundred days a year? I can't. The only people who go through what I go through work with me, and I'm not dipping my foot into that pool anytime soon."

Matt laughed at her response. "Oh well, you'll find someone."

"I never said I was looking."

"Okay. Let's move on. How's living in Atlanta treating you?"

"It's great. I love it. How's Cameron?"

Matt pulled up his sleeves as it continued to rain outside, "It's great. I love it."

They both stopped talking as the taxi pulled over. Matt handed the driver a fifty dollar note as they walked towards the hotel.

Matt enquired as to what Amy wanted to do, "Dinner? Drink? Bad movie?"

"I'm thinking bad movie."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

They both sat on the couch as the credits began to run. Amy and Matt laughed hysterically as he went to turn off the television.

"Shit, I haven't seen a movie for ages," he said, looking at his watch; it was well past midnight.

"Well, you have a full time job," she said, eating a piece of chocolate from the mini bar.

"So do you…I don't even have house shows."

"I mean as a father jackass."

Amy leaned over Matt to pick up the remote control. She brushed past him as her body lay over his. As she moved back, Matt clutched her waist and pulled her towards him and kissed her. Amy resisted momentarily as he kissed her again. She finally reciprocated as he leaned over her and fell to the ground. Matt began to unbutton his shirt as she lay on the carpet. He leaned forward to kiss her softly on her neck, his hands pinned her own to her sides. Amy opened her eyes and saw his. She sat up.

"We shouldn't do this," she said, stopping herself.

Matt affirmed her doubt, "I know…I'm sorry."

"It's okay, nothing happened Matt."

"Okay, moving on. So, had you seen that before?"

Amy nodded her head, "Yes, I had. What can I say? Napoleon Dynamite does it for me."

Matt leaned back on to the pillow and forged himself into a more comfortable position. "If I had known that information seven years ago I would have permed my hair and drawn you pictures of ligers."

Amy laughed and threw a pillow at him. "I guess that's where we went wrong…you didn't draw me a liger."

"That and your wondering eye," he said sarcastically.

Amy shrugged her shoulders and began to shift to her feet.

"I am sorry…I didn't mean to say that. Fuck." He said apologetically.

"I should probably get going. I've got an early flight back to Atlanta at JFK and I don't want to feel like shit in the morning without any sleep." She moved towards her bag.

Matt ran in front of her towards the door, in an effort to block her exodus. "Amy, don't go. I thought we were going to hang out tonight."

She moved past him, closing her eyes briefly when her shoulder brushed his arm. She felt something in that moment. But she ignored it as she stopped before the doorway to look at him once more. "We were having fun Matt, why did you have to bring that up? We've been through that a thousand times, I thought we had moved on."

"We have. It just came out. I'll shut up. Please, just stay. I haven't seen you in months." Matt did not want to beg but he could not stand the thought of her leaving that hotel room.

"All right. I just hate that you brought that up. I beat myself up over that for so long and I thought that we had finally put it behind us."

Matt slumped against the wall, sliding down to the floor. He pressed the palms of his hands against his forehead. "I don't know why I brought it up. I am so sorry. I had absolutely no reason to bring that up."

Amy soon joined him on the floor as she dropped her bag. She faced him calmly and he felt the small ball of panic in his stomach when he noticed an odd blankness in her eyes.

"I want so bad for us to be friends Matt. I thought we were at that stage. I mean, tonight, it's been the most fun I've had in months."

"Me too," he agreed.

She clenched her hands tightly, glancing off at the side before she looked at him once more. "But I keep on feeling this underlying factor that something more could happen, and I don't want that."

"I don't get what you mean." Matt breathed deeply as he awaited her response.

"I know that you called me wanting to hang out. I was stoked at the prospect myself, and that bothered me. It's hard to explain. When we're together and alone, I feel something. I don't know what it is, but I know that it's not platonic."

"Amy..." he said quietly, reaching out to touch her. He then realised what a bad idea that would be, and dropped his arm.

She waited a moment. "And that's not okay."

"I know. But the way I see it is that there's always going to be some connection between us. But that does not mean that we are going to act on it," he said, trying to rationalize the situation to himself.

"But that's what I am afraid of Matt. I am afraid that we will…the truth is, I don't trust myself around you. I've finally come to understand that tonight…we were alone for four hours, and we were all over each other without question."

"You want the truth?" he asked her.

"Yeah Matt, I want the truth."

"Okay, here is the truth Amy. I'm here because Ashley thinks that I don't want to get married. She thinks that I want to be with you and that the only reason that she and I are together is because of our daughter. How fucked up is that?

Shocked, Amy almost choked. She stared up at him again, trying to stutter out a response. "I don't know. Is it?" she urged, almost afraid of the answer.

"I don't know." His words were spoken quietly, frankly and to the point.

Amy closed her eyes for a brief moment before looking at him. "You're engaged Matt. You have a daughter with your fiancée…it's your family."

"God, you think I don't know that? My daughter, she's my life. I don't want to hurt her," he finally said.

"Then don't. Call it a night. Let's go our separate ways and you can go home."

"I want to call it a night but I can't. I want to get this out. This has been sitting in me for half a decade. Just let me get it out."

Amy was confused, "Get what out?"

"Everything. The way I see it, I never got to move on from our relationship. It never ended to me Amy. I jumped straight into a relationship with Lori, and then with Ashley…I never got to move on so everything is still here Amy. I don't want it to be, but it is."

Amy absorbed the information, her mind a jumbled mess. "You never told me..."

"I never wanted to until now," he said honestly.

"What do you want to do?"

He hesitated for a moment, "I want to end it Amy."

"Then end it," she said simply.

"I can't,' he voiced regretfully, 'I've been trying to for five years…I can't."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

Matt lay on the couch sound asleep with his legs hanging over the end of the arm rest. Amy had fallen asleep on the bed on top of the covers with her arms crossed into her chest. They had finally taken a break after hours of deliberation.

As the phone rang, Amy woke up, as did Matt. He rolled off the couch and forced himself to pick up the phone.

"Hello?'…'Thanks." He hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" she yawned.

"Wake up call."

Amy stretched her arms and turned to the clock, she realised the time. "Shit, I have to be at the airport in an hour." She scrambled to her bag and tripped to the floor.

Matt laughed hysterically at the image.

The red head pulled herself back onto her feet and gave him a slightly angry look. "I'm glad I could be amusing,' she said sarcastically. 'I think I'll go now."

"Where do you have to be?" he asked.

"Atlanta," she replied.

"No, I mean, do you have to be in Atlanta?"

"It's my day off. I get one day off."

Matt nodded, "Yeah, but do you have to be in Atlanta?"

Amy shook her head, "No."

He yawned, "Then stay."

"I don't think that's a good idea Matt."

"Stay here for the day. Maybe we can finally sort all our shit out," he said in a hopeful tone.

"Okay…but you're paying the hotel bill," she said sardonically.

Matt put his hands in his head and looked up, resistant of his amusement, "Don't make me laugh, it's not a good time for me to laugh."

Amy smiled, "I just thought I could lighten up the situation a little."

"I see."

Matt reached to the carpet and picked up his shirt.

"Do you mind using the other room?" Amy requested sarcastically.

He rolled his eyes, "I've been sleeping shirtless, and oh touchy one…I am putting on a shirt. If anything, I am making the situation more appropriate."

Amy sat back down on the bed, "Well, I want to shower and get changed and so forth. You can go down and get some breakfast, and do what you do. I would like some privacy and since you are insisting upon my presence, I get dibs on the bathroom."

Again, Matt laughed slightly. "Whatever. I'm going to grab something to eat. You certainly haven't evolved into a diva since the last time we shared a room."

"I've always been a diva Matt; I've just always had a reason to cover it up. In this situation, I don't."

Matt left the room as Amy stepped into the bathroom.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

Back In North Carolina

Isabelle and Ashley sat at the table together.

"Sweetie, come on, you know you want to eat the oat meal," Ashley said, trying to persuade her daughter to eat her breakfast.

Isabelle giggled, "I don't want it Mom."

"You're as stubborn as your Dad," Ashley mumbled to herself, taking the bowl and walking back into the kitchen.

"Mom, where's Daddy?"

Ashley put the bowl into the sink and returned to the table, "He's at work this week sweetie. It's just you and me for a few days."

Her daughter smiled, "What are we doing today?"

"You know what? I thought we could go to Six Flags today. What do you think about that?"

"Yay!" Isabelle exclaimed excitedly.

"Izzy, why don't you go and get ready while I call your Dad?"

Isabelle jumped up, "You're calling Dad? I want to speak to him."

"I'll tell you what. You go up stairs and I'll be there in just a minute and you can talk to your Dad. Okay?"

"Okay." With that, she bounced up the stairs to her room eagerly.

Ashley radiated as she saw her daughter's excitement. She went over to the phone and dialled Matt's number.

"Hello?" he answered, forgetting the blocked number.

"Hey, it's me," she said.

"Hey honey, what's news?"

"Not much, me and Izzy are going to Six Flags today. She's up stairs getting ready. So, how's New York?" she asked curiously.

"It's great. I caught up with some friends last night; I had a really good time." He lied, but did not want to hurt her.

"That's great Matt. Have you had some time to think about what we talked about yet?"

"Ash, my answer is still the same…I love you. If it's a week of me in New York for you to get that, then it's a week of me in New York."

"You're stubborn, aren't you?" she said light-heartedly, sitting down.

"Honey, for you, I'll be whatever you want me to be."

"I want you to be happy."

"I am."

She replied honestly, "Good."

Isabelle was now standing in front of her.

"Can I speak to my little girl?" he requested.

"She's right here."

Isabelle climbed up onto her mother's lap and took the phone, "Daddy?"

"Yeah baby, it's me."

"I miss you."

"I miss you too Izzy."

"Where are you?"

"I'm in New York sweetie. Where are you?" he asked teasingly.

"I'm at home silly."

"Are you?" he asked again playfully.

"Daddy, didn't you know?" she giggled.

"Not until you told me.' Matt smiled to himself as he heard her laughter. 'You know what honey? I should let you go and get ready for Six Flags. I love you."

"I love you too Daddy." She handed the phone back to her mother.

"Ash, are you there?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's me," she replied.

"Have a good time today. Promise me?"

"I promise. What are you up to today?"

"I'm not sure actually." There was some honesty to his answer.

"Well, I've got to jet. Our daughter has inherited your interesting taste in clothing. She is wearing her bathing suit with your Hornets jersey."

"Smart, just like her Daddy."

Ashley sniggered, "I should be worried."

"Probably…I love you."

"I love you too babe," she said, as she hung up the phone.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

Amy pulled a sweater over her head as she was getting ready to join Matt for breakfast in the hotel restaurant. She walked over to her bag and opened her date book, to confirm that she was not missing anything of importance. As she turned the pages, she noticed the mail that she had failed to open on her way out of her house the last time she had been there. Her hand paused on one, a hand-addressed white envelope, with her name and address on it in familiar writing. She didn't know who it was from, not at first, but something about the shape of letters in her name was familiar.

She opened it.

The invitation was beautiful, with ivy vines framing the names. The usual details of date, place and time were present. As was a note, scrawled hastily at the bottom reading, "Amy, please come."

She placed the invitation back in her date book and proceeded to walk out of the room and into the elevator. Minutes later she met Matt at the table.

"You came…" he said, holding a double espresso in one hand while turning a page of the paper with the other.

"I was hungry." She sat down.

"As was I."

They each smiled awkwardly at the other.

"I just got your invitation," she said bluntly.

"Oh…"

"I didn't realize that you two had chosen a date." She began to play with her napkin.

He put down the paper and his coffee, "Yeah, we had…I mean have, but it's only for the engagement party."

"So it's official then."

"Amy…I don't know. It is but it isn't."

"Matt, you don't need to reassure me. If anything, you are reassuring yourself." She picked up the jug of orange juice and poured herself a glass.

"I love her Amy, I do…but I need to sort stuff out before I go back there. I need to straighten out some old issues."

Amy nodded, "Like me?"

"It's not like that Amy and you know it."

Amy scrutinized him, "You're just confusing me Matt. You are engaged. You love your fiancé. You have a beautiful daughter with her. Why are you here?"

"I don't know."

"This isn't right Matt."

"Ashley told me that she wanted me to work out where I wanted to be in my life. The only thing that I could think of was you."

"I'm going to go Matt. You need to back home and see your family. I want you to call me in a few days and tell me what's going. We'll take it from there…but I will not be the other woman. Know that.' Amy put the glass of orange juice down as she leaned over and kissed him on the forehead, 'Bye."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

Four months later

"Izzy, are you ready for your swimming lesson?" Matt yelled.

Isabelle ran down the stairs with her towel in hand, "I'm ready Daddy."

Matt smiled, "Baby, go get your Mom."

She ran into the kitchen and retrieved Ashley by her hand.

"Ready Ash?" he asked.

"Ready. God Matt, you're such a Dad," she said with a laugh, as Isabelle continued to lead her to the front door.

"That's the point," Matt said with a wink.

As Ashley drove, Matt looked at his watch and the date.

"It's Amy's birthday," he said.

Ashley nodded, "Give her a call babe."

"Good idea." Matt picked up his cell phone and dialled the number.

"Matt?" she answered.

"Happy Birthday!" he exclaimed.

"Thanks…where are you?" she asked.

"I'm in the car with Izzy and Ash; we're driving to the swimming pool."

Amy laughed, "Sounds fun."

"What are you up to for the big day?"

"Just friends and family over for dinner. Nothing massive. Listen, I have to go now but thanks for the call," she replied thankfully.

"Okay, well, I'll see you in Austin on Monday. Happy Birthday!" he said once again as he hung up the phone.

"Is she having a good time?" Ashley asked, genuinely interested.

"I think so. She's having friends and family over for dinner," he answered.

"How long have you known her now?"

Matt thought for a moment, "About eleven years."

"We should have her over for dinner one night…I mean, to make up for our lack of presence on her birthday. Isn't there a show in Raleigh in a few weeks?"

Matt nodded, "Yeah, sounds good."

"Ask her on Monday then," Ashley said kindly.

"I will."

Peter Gabriel's 'I Grieve' softly played in the background as the conversation continued.

She no longer felt insecure about Amy and was sincerely interested in her fiancé's past, "So how did you two meet anyway? I mean, did you just happen to be in the same locker room like us?"

Matt smiled and shook his head, "No, I didn't meet her at WWE."

Ashley laughed.

"Um…' Matt thought, 'Actually, she was wrestling at an indy show one night. Jeff and I were there because a couple of the guys were booked on the show. But yeah, there was only one women's match on the card and Amy was in it. She was taking these really nasty bumps, the match was completely brutal…" he paused.

Ashley looked at him, listening with interest.

"But um, she uh, she just caught my eye I guess. She came up to me after the match and wanted to ask my opinion about it actually. And I lied,' he laughed to himself as he continued. 'After the show, we went back to the promoter's house and spent most of the night talking about any random subject that could possibly be discussed. We just connected. That's the only way to explain it. She wasn't like anyone I'd ever met before."

Ashley looked away and smiled.

Matt finished, "Well, so I thought…until you."

"Oh, shucks."

Matt took her right hand from the gear shift and held it in his own, "But when I met you…I wasn't just connected, I knew."

"You knew what?"

"I just knew." He softly kissed her hand as she continued to drive.

In Atlanta

"Who was that?" Sam asked.

"Matt," Amy said as she continued to clean the bench in the kitchen.

"What's Matt up to?" he enquired.

"Um…he's taking his daughter swimming today."

"Why didn't you invite him over for dinner?"

Amy stopped cleaning, "He's in Cameron, and it's his day off. I didn't want to put him in the position where he had sacrifice time with his family."

He nodded, "I know. I just thought you guys were friends."

"We are, but I'm seeing him on Monday so it's no big deal. And I'm moving back to Sanford in a few weeks. Plus, you're here, that's what matters."

He leaned forward and kissed her, "Happy Birthday."

"I am having a happy birthday," she said, leaning on his shoulder.

Sam wrapped his arms around her waist, "I'm glad."

He let go of her waist, picked her up and walked her over to the couch, letting her down softly.

"What are we doing?" she asked with a laugh.

"I'm wishing you a happy birthday," he replied.

"My Mom is coming over in ten minutes."

Sam nodded, "We better make haste then."

Amy sniggered as he kissed her.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

Matt taped up his right wrist as he prepared for his match.

Shannon approached him, "Hey bro, what's going on?"

The two exchanged a handshake.

"Not much. Yourself?"

"Just enjoying the show,' Shannon said, sitting down on the bench in the locker room.

"When are you flying back to Raleigh?" Matt enquired.

"In the morning at like nine I think."

Matt nodded, "Me too."

"Dude, have you spoken to Amy lately?"

"No, why?" he asked curiously.

"No real reason. I just figured that she would have told you that she was moving back home."

"To Florida?"

Shannon laughed, "No! To Sanford."

Matt began to tape up his left wrist, "I didn't see that one coming."

"Well, as far as I know, she still owns her house there."

Matt concurred, "Yeah, she does. She was renting her place in Atlanta. She never sold the house in Sanford. Last time I checked, she was renting it out."

"I guess no one is renting it then."

Matt stood up, "I guess. Listen man, I have to be at gorilla in two minutes, I'll catch you later?"

"Yeah man. I'll see you in the morning."

Shannon turned around and walked out of the locker room as Matt continued in his preparation.

Amy stood by the monitor, watching the main event.

Matt advanced towards her as Amy turned around to face him.

"Hey," he said, commencing the conversation.

"Hello there," she said, stopping.

"How was your birthday?" Matt enquired.

"I had a really good time. It was totally chill."

Matt nodded, "That's good. So what's news?"

Amy paused, "Not much actually."

"Really?"

"Really," she said, repeating the sentiment.

"You know the show in Raleigh next week?" Matt enquired.

"I think so…it's next Saturday," she replied, wondering about his enquiry.

"Yeah, are you busy after the show?"

Amy was confused, "Not that I know of. Why?"

"Ash was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner after the show…"

"…Ash?"

Matt shook his head and corrected himself. "Ash and I, we were wondering."

"Um…yeah, that sounds good. I have to be in Sanford on Sunday anyway, so it works out," she agreed.

"What's going on in Sanford?" he asked, knowing the answer.

"I'm moving back into my house actually."

"So there was news…"

Amy smiled, "I guess there was."

"It's good to have you back home," Matt sincerely commented.

"Yeah, it is." She smiled.

"So you're going to come over for dinner? Isabelle really wants to meet you…because you're the lady in all of Daddy's photos."

Amy concurred, "And I'm looking forward to meeting her…wait, I've met her before, haven't I?"

"At Jeff's birthday last year, but she was asleep the whole time," he laughed.

"I thought so."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

March 2005

He looked at her, grasping his right hand with his left.

She did not know to treat the situation so she simply sat in silence, waiting.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked her.

She shook her head, "I don't know. I can't give you an answer. I just hate that I've done this."

He stood up and took a deep breath, "Trust me, I find it insufferable Amy. It's like you just went out and executed me…and I don't want to look at you, because it just reminds me of what you did."

"Matt, I'm so sorry."

"You don't know how much this sucks for me Amy. I am mentally trying to measure whether I love you or hate you more. Do you how messed up that is?" He walked over to the bench and drank from the bottle of water, his back turned from her.

She did not approach him, instead staying on the opposite side of the room. "I just want to fix this…okay? How can I fix this?"

"You see, that's the thing. You can't fix this. Amy, I don't trust you anymore and I don't understand why you did it,' he took a breath. 'My problem is that I don't know if I'll ever be able to deal with this." He placed the bottle of water back on the bench and turned back to her as their eyes gained contact for the first time in minutes.

Amy hesitated for a moment before responding. "Matt, the thing is…I don't know why I did it and I have no idea what to do about it. But at the same time, this is my flaw and I can't fix what I have done, no matter how hard I try, nothing is going to change that. I hurt you and I can't take it back. Can you live with that?" She awaited an answer.

He shook his head, "No. Baby, I can't."

She could not believe his response. "What? So this is it? This is the end? After everything?" she asked.

"Amy, everything was fucked up the moment that you kissed him. I thought that maybe I could get past it, but the truth is, I don't want to. As much as you mean to me, I can't contemplate trying to get through this with you. We'll never be the same, and that really kills me. I love you more than anything Amy, but I just can't deal with this."

Amy stood up from her chair and walked over to him, grasping his hand. "Please don't do this. Okay, two weeks ago you told me that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me, and that means nothing?"

He nodded, "It means nothing now. It's broken. Everything. What we had. Dead."

"How can that happen Matt? Okay, it's been two days, how can it all go in two days?"

Matt stopped her, "It's simple…you killed it Amy. I'm in love with you, but you killed it. When I'm in a room with you, right now, I physically feel sick. I want to throw up and I just want to get out."

End Flashback


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

Amy stood in the hallway waiting for Matt. He finally emerged from the locker room with his suit case in hand.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

"Yeah, Ash and Izzy are meeting us in a few minutes," he nodded.

Amy smiled, "Looking forward to it."

Matt glanced at her and started, "The feeling is mutual."

"I just keep on thinking that…"

"…She could have been ours?" he finished.

Amy reluctantly signalled the error, "No, that I can't believe I've never spoken to your kid."

He nodded his head and understood, "Ah yeah, that too."

They both heard a voice from behind.

"Daddy!"

Matt turned around and saw his daughter running towards him. He held out his arms and bent down to pick her up. Ashley soon followed as Matt walked over and kissed her.

"Hey babe," she said, hugging him.

"It's good to see you Ash," he said, kissing Ashley on the forehead.

"Hey Amy," she smiled.

Ashley let go of Matt and leaned forward towards Amy and awkwardly hugged her.

"Hey Ash," Amy replied with the slightest feeling of discomfort.

"So, we're liking the 'hey' today," Matt uttered sarcastically.

Isabelle laughed, "Daddy, can we go?"

Matt squeezed her a little tighter, "We're going now baby," he said as they began to walk out towards the car park.

"So, I hear you're moving back to Sanford," Ashley said as she drove.

Amy, sitting next to her in the passenger seat confirmed her enquiry, "Yeah, I am actually."

"So what brings you back here?"

"The lease on my house in Atlanta ran out so I figured I'd come home."

Ashley expressed her friendliness, "That's awesome. It's going to be good to have you around."

Amy agreed, "I'm really looking forward to it."

Matt and Isabelle played in the back seat as Ashley looked back at them in the rear view mirror.

"Babe, I didn't realise I was marrying a ten year old," Ashley laughed.

"Yeah you did honey," Matt sniggered in return.

Amy narrowed her eyes to his and held his gaze for a long moment, searching for what he was thinking. He looked away to his daughter and suddenly, she felt inanimate.

Ashley looked at Amy, "Don't expect his attention," she said with a half hearted smirk.

"Why?"

"Because when she is in the room, nobody else exists to him."

Amy looked around at Matt again, realising how much he had changed and grown.

She turned to Ashley, "So what are we having for dinner?"

"Chinese…" she said in an expressed amusement.

"You know how to cook Chinese?" she exclaimed in disbelief.

"God no! I know how to order it…I can't cook for shit."

They both laughed as they drove towards Cameron.

"So, we're going to be seeing you a lot more then?" Ashley questioned as she laid the plates on the table.

Matt answered the question for Amy, "We're going to have a babysitter honey," he laughed.

Amy rolled her eyes and responded to Ashley's question. "I guess so. I mean, that's if you want to."

Matt placed the boxes of Chinese on the table as they all sat down to eat.

Ashley sent Amy a contented glance, "Actually, it's good to have a female here for a change. It just seems to be boys over at the house twenty four-seven."

"What about Isabelle?"

The blonde laughed, "Well, I mean females who can construct a conversation that does not involve Crayola or Play School."

Matt grinned, "Oh Ash, I feel the same way about you."

Ashley shook her head and smiled.

"So, is there a guy?"

Matt laughed at Ashley's questioning, "Of course there isn't."

Amy paused for a moment, "Honestly?"

Ashley nodded, "Of course."

"Yeah, there's a guy."

Matt spit out his egg roll upon hearing the revelation.

"Who's the victim?" Matt chastised.

"Well, yours is Ashley," she shot back.

Ashley watched in amusement.

"Shut up," he returned.

"So, who is the guy?" Ashley continued.

Amy smiled, "His name is Sam."

Ashley bit into an egg roll, "Anything else you would care to enlighten us with?"

Amy had a sip of water before she carried on. "Well, I established his name is Sam. What else? Um…he is a freelance writer who works with predominantly music based magazines. He drives a Navigator, listens to Australian heavy metal and country music; he also enjoys long walks on the beach."

Matt's fingers began to trace the top of his glass.

Ashley excused herself, "I'm just going to go and check if Isabelle is still in bed." She proceeded to leave the kitchen and vanish into the next room.

Matt looked at Amy as the two shared an awkward glance.

"So, when did this start?" he finally asked.

"What would you like to know?" she replied.

"What you want me to know I guess."

Amy returned to the previous subject content. "I met him at a concert. He bought me a drink, we clicked, we pursued the connection and we started going out."

"How come you never told me about him?"

"There was nothing to tell. I was seeing him casually…"

"Was?"

Amy corrected herself, "It was casual…but it escalated recently."

Matt took it upon himself to take the last egg roll for the box. "How?"

"He was moving back to Raleigh for work, and I decided that I didn't want to do the long distance thing."

"So you moved back here for him?"

Amy nodded, "Yeah."

"So it's serious?"

"Enough for me recognise the necessity to be near him."

"Do you love him?" he asked abruptly.

"I don't know. But I know that it's going somewhere…it's the first relationship that I've been in, in a long time, that I know is going somewhere Matt."

Matt leaned back and closed his eyes, suddenly tensing.

"I'm happy for you," he said forcefully.

"Thanks, it's bullshit, but thanks," she stated with a smile.

"I'm not bullshitting Amy." Matt sounded startled.

"Matt, don't fuck with me. I may not spend as much time with you, but I know when you're pulling stuff out of your ass. I don't need you to like that fact that I'm in a relationship." Amy leaned forward and opened another box of rice.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he questioned.

"There wasn't anything to tell up until this point."

"Okay."

Amy continued, "But I'm happy, and I haven't been happy in a long time."

Before Matt could respond, he saw Ashley return to the room.

He turned his attention to Ashley, "Is she asleep?"

Ashley affirmed his query, "Yeah, she's off with the fairies. She's wearing your Hornets jersey again though."

Matt smiled, "Ash, that's hers."

"Since when?" Ashley was surprised.

"Since I bought one for her today."

"She's turning into her Dad a little too much for my taste," Ashley said, directing her comment to Amy.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Amy teased.

"I'm not sure,' Ashley replied jokingly. 'Are you enjoying dinner?"

"It's an event, I'll put it that way," Amy admitted.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

Matt entered the bed as he lay on his back, pulling Ashley towards him as she rested her head on his chest and looked up, "Did you enjoy dinner?"

He nodded, "It was eventful."

Ashley smiled, "I'm just glad we're all friends."

"Me too."

"Amy seems happy," she continued.

"Yeah, she does. I want to meet Sam though."

Ashley laughed at the concept, "Why?"

"I want to see if he is good enough I guess."

"No one ever will be," Ashley yawned.

Matt stroked her hair behind her ear softly. "What do you mean?"

She adjusted her body and rested her head once again. "I mean that you can't envision someone you loved with someone else. It's too hard."

"It's not like that…" he said defensively.

"I know. I'm saying that's it's in basic human nature to feel that no one can take their place." Ashley commented.

Matt rubbed his right eye.

"I've been through the same thing Matt," she confessed.

"When?" he asked with an odd feeling of curiosity.

"I had a life before you, you know?"

Matt laughed, "Yes I know."

"Well, there was a guy before you Matt," she revealed.

"Really?" Matt rolled his eyes.

"Really,' she smiled. Her tone changed, "After we broke up…he introduced me to his now wife. I never liked her."

"Why?"

Ashley stopped for a moment, "Because she could never give him what I could give him."

"Which is?"

"I don't know," she admitted.

"That's different Ash."

She disagreed. "It's not Matt. I loved him, I thought he was the love of my life for the longest time…but he wasn't. And I found it so hard to picture myself without him, but he wasn't right for me and I knew it. Even when I was aware of it, I still never liked his wife."

"Because?" Matt was puzzled.

"Because it feels like I failed. Like I couldn't make that relationship work. I love you, but that does not change my resentment towards that relationship. I am happy for him, but still…it doesn't feel right to see him with someone else.' She leaned up and kissed him. 'So yeah, I know how it feels."

"It's not that I don't want Amy to be happy,' Matt admitted. 'I just want to know that this guy…Sam, can offer her everything that you've given me."

Ashley smiled, "She'll know if he's good enough for her Matt."

"I know…it's just…"

"…That you loved her," she finished.

"It's not that," he said.

"It's okay Matt; you are allowed to have loved her."

"Goodnight," he said as he looked down and kissed her on the forehead, leaning over to turn the light off.

She leaned over and kissed him as he softly laid her back on the bed. She ran her hand up and down his back as he continued to rub his hands over her thighs.

"Not yet," she whispered.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

"Hey, are you ready to leave?" she yelled across the house.

Sam stuck his head out the door, "I am just getting out of the shower, can you give me two minutes?"

Amy laughed, "You've got thirty seconds before I come up and dress you myself."

"If I didn't have a mother complex, I would find that incredibly hot," he said, pulling up his jeans.

"Will you be ready to go in a minute?" she asked sternly.

"I'll be ready in two minutes," he repeated.

"Must I repeat my earlier sentiment?"

Sam shook his head, "You can come up here…only to undress me though. Otherwise, you'll be slowing me down." He grinned.

Amy smiled, "That does sound tempting…but no."

"Who are we seeing anyway?" he questioned.

"Veruca Salt."

"Interesting choice…" he commented, putting on a t-shirt.

"The drummer from Failure, Kelli Scott, is with them now, it should be a good show," she said with an odd level of enthusiasm.

"Baby, at some stage, our dates need to stop being concerts."

"Why?"

He scratched his eyebrow, "Because we go, we see, you get recognised and we spend fifty percent of the time watching fans watch you."

"Or you are reviewing it," she responded.

"That's my job," he said defensively.

"And it's unfortunately a reality of mine."

He leaned forward and kissed her, "It looks like we are both going to have to come to terms with our realities."

She clutched him by the t-shirt and leaned forward aggressively to kiss him, "Let's go."

"We've got a good hour," he said reassuringly.

"I thought you'd want to get dinner."

He shook his head, "I am content sitting here with you."

Amy laughed at the prospect, "That's sweet of you…bullshit, but sweet."

"You didn't tell me how dinner at Matt and Ashley's went," he said, changing the subject.

Amy nodded, "It was good."

"That was descriptive…you really painted a picture for me, I really feel like I was there," he said sarcastically.

"Shut up Sam," Amy smiled.

"Baby, how did it go?" he asked again.

"It was good to catch up with Matt, and I got to meet Izzy, which was an event in itself."

"So it was good?"

"Yes, it was good. Weird, but good," she offered.

"Why weird?"

"You're kidding me, right?" she questioned.

"Nope. I'm dead serious."

She tugged at her necklace slightly as she continued. "It was weird being in the house again."

"Because?"

"I lived there for two years."

Sam affirmed her comment, "I am aware of that."

"So it was weird to be there. I mean, it was home for a while and it was just weird seeing Matt with a family. Not in a jealous ex kind of way, just in an astonished friend kind of way."

"I get it. Matt was a big part of your life for an extended period of time. Of course it would be a little weird." He said understandingly.

"Why are you so appreciative of the situation?"

Sam expressed a look of amusement. "Do you remember Alex?"

"The chick whose house we went to for dinner a couple of weeks ago?"

"Yeah."

"Why?" she asked.

"I was engaged to her for four years," he said revealingly.

"I didn't see that one coming," Amy breathed.

"I lived in that house for five years."

"So you're saying it was weird for you?" she queried.

"I am saying that two years ago, it was weird for me to go into that house, meet her boyfriend and their dog for the first time," he offered honestly.

"And now…"

"…And now and they are two of my best friends. Just give it some time. Obviously it was weird for them as well, so next time, it'll be a little less weird, and et cetera."

Amy leaned forward and kissed him softly.

"What was that for?"

"No reason," she replied.

"Well thanks," he said, kissing her once more.

She pulled back and looked up at him, "You know I love you, right?"

He nodded, "It's reciprocated Amy."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

"Baby, are you going to come down and say goodbye?" Matt yelled out.

Isabelle ran down the stairs and hugged her father, "Goodbye," she said cheekily.

Matt bent down and picked her up, "I love you."

"I love you too Dad," she said back.

"And I'll be back in three sleeps," he said reassuringly.

"I know," she smiled.

He kissed her on the forehead and put her down, "Can you go get your Mom for me?"

He watched Isabelle as she retrieved Ashley from the kitchen.

"Were you cooking?" he asked as Isabelle led her by hand into the room.

Ashley laughed, "Have I ever cooked?"

Matt leaned forward and kissed her, "No, you haven't…what was I thinking?"

She smiled, knocking him on the arm as she held her daughter's hand, "So you're back home Wednesday afternoon?"

He nodded, assenting to her question. "That sounds about right."

"Awesome. I have a signing in Charleston on Thursday, so that should work out," she added.

"It should,' he agreed with a smile. 'I should get going Ash," he said, picking up his bag.

"I'll see you in a couple of days babe."

He wrapped his arms around her body and rubbed her back slowly before kissing her softly, "A couple of days," he agreed.

"You ready to go?" Sam asked.

Amy roughly threw a pair of pants into her bag. "I am now."

He laughed, "You always leave it to the last minute."

"It's all a part of my charm," she said boldly as she zipped up the bag.

He placed his arms around her waist and kissed her softly on the neck, "I can't argue with that."

She extended her neck instinctively, "Stop doing that," she moaned.

"Why?" he asked, kissing her once more.

"Because I won't want to leave," she explained.

Sam chuckled, "Is that such a bad thing?"

"It wouldn't normally be, but I'm already pushing it with this flight," she said, stepping away from him.

He looked at his watch, "I've got the morning off, did you want a ride to Raleigh?" he offered.

Amy shook her head, "I'll just leave my car at the airport. It's no hassle," she added.

"Okay," Sam concluded.

She leaned forward and kissed him, "You're very sweet though."

He kissed her again, "I'll see you on Wednesday."

Amy picked up her bag, "One o'clock."

Matt readjusted his bag on his shoulder as he walked toward his seat. As he looked down, he saw Amy.

"22A?" she asked.

He nodded, "Yeah, 22B?"

Amy nodded, "It looks like we're together again."

He laughed, "Looks like it."

Matt opened the over head compartment and placed his bag in there.

Amy took out her headphones and turned off her iPod as Matt sat down in the seat.

"Where are you heading to after Denver?" Matt asked.

"Colorado Springs," she replied.

"Me too. Have you organised a car yet?"

Amy shook her head, "I guess I have now."

"Great, that means I just saved a crisp fifty." He smiled in a pageant fashion.

"Fifty into the college fund?" Amy sniggered.

"No, fifty into the Boxter fund." He snapped his fingers.

"You are over the Corvette?" she asked.

"No, I just plant to add to the collection."

She drank from her water bottle, "And the college fund?"

"Let's not talk about that," he smiled.

Amy looked out the window, "Ready for take off?"

"Hell yeah," Matt replied with a hint of sarcasm.

They both pulled off their headphones as the video ended.

Matt looked down the aisle and saw a man and woman attempt to subtly exit the bathroom separately.

He turned to Amy, "Check it out; someone just joined the mile high club."

Amy leaned over him to look, "Good for them."

Matt thought for a moment, "We never got around to doing that did we?"

"No, and I really am okay with that," she said as she tried to make the seat more comfortable, adjusting her body.

Matt agreed, "Me too."

"Aeroplane bathrooms are nasty," she added.

Matt nodded, "They are."

Amy looked at her watch, "We should change the subject…that was kind of disturbing. Um, dinner?"

"How did you find dinner?" he asked.

"Great. Isabelle is incredible and Ash, I really do regret not getting to know her better. You're lucky Matt." Amy admitted.

"Yeah, I am. What about Sam? Tell me about him."

"I told you about him," Amy countered.

"No, you gave me the liberal politically correct version."

"Are you sure?" she asked one more time.

Matt nodded forcefully.

"Okay, he's tall, and very benign. He hates that I'm gone four or five days out of the week, but he puts up with my shit anyway. He's incredibly patient and is one of the few people who can give me a run for my money, music trivia wise. What else?' she continued. 'Well, he um, he loves to watch really bad TV with me at three in the morning and his favourite song is Stairway to Heaven and while it is clichéd, it's so him. He loves to write in the middle of the night, and sleep all day and he hogs the covers in the middle of winter."

"Is there anything else?" Matt added.

Amy smiled. "And he loves me."

"You're happy?" He looked at her face and saw it light up.

"I'm happy." She drank from her water.

"I'm glad."

Amy put down the water bottle, "That means a lot to hear you say it."

"Dude, let's not get sentimental," he said, trying to change the atmosphere of the conversation.

Amy defended herself. "Hey, I am not that chick; I am not the soppy sentimental chick."

"And you love him?" Matt enquired.

Amy did not reply and Matt knew the answer.

"He's a fortunate guy," he finished.

Amy returned the question, "And Ashley?"

"I really do,' he answered. 'Is it the same for you?"

"What do you mean?" Amy was confused

"I mean, you and Sam, is it the same as you and me?"

"No," she responded flatly.

"How?" He was curious.

"I was with you twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. We travelled together, you were apart of my life in every aspect. We were together every night," she finished.

"I don't get it," Matt added.

"I was in love with you Matt…but now I love Sam. It can never be the same, you're two different guys, and I'm a different person now…I've changed. But you want to know the difference?"

Matt indicated agreement.

"He wants me more than I want him."

"And that's a good thing?" He was once again perplexed.

"I was always the one chasing you, and I got sick of it. Even after the first time we were together, we exchanged numbers, but I was the one calling you up and constantly initiating the different facets of our relationship. Sam's there, he wants me, bullshit and fucking all of me Matt…that's the difference. There was a part of me you never wanted."

"Which was?" Matt wanted to know.

"The part you never trusted."

Matt disagreed, "I trusted you Amy."

"No you didn't," she retorted.

"I trusted you, right up until Adam and you know that."

"That's not true. You knew how we started. I was still with Beau when we hooked up for the first time, and for a long time after that. I didn't end it with him until we were well into our little drama. From then on, you never trusted me one hundred percent."

Mat shook his head, "That's bullshit."

Amy raised her hands defensively, "Okay, I'm sorry. Can we move on?"

"You know what? We already have," Matt said reassuringly.

"Are you going to bring that up every time we get into a disagreement?" she queried.

Matt shook his head, "No, but when you say I never trusted you…that's different."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15:

2002

Amy tried to move out from underneath his body, he tightened his arm around her. She smiled sleepily and was content to stay in bed for a little longer, but her mind would not rest, so neither could her body.

"I need to shower," she said, pushing his arm away. She got out of bed and walked towards the bathroom.

Matt heard the shower start as he rolled out of bed and staggered towards the dresser without grace. He put on his watch, realising the day and time. Before he could process the information, he turned around and the door opened. As she dried her hair with a towel, he watched her. She moved across the room to the edge of the bed, as he observed with awe. She bent down to the ground to pick up her jeans.

Matt walked over and put his arms around her waist, "It's Saturday," he said.

"I know…we need to shop," she tried to explain, failing.

He would not have any of that. "Come to bed for a few hours," he reasoned.

Amy tried to resist his offer, "We have no food in the house."

Wrapping his arms around her further, he drew her in closer to his body and kissed her softly on the neck, "Please baby."

She turned around, and smoothed her hands softly over his face. "One hour," she whispered against his mouth.

"You've still got water all over you," he said, rubbing her arms, trying to keep her body warm.

She laughed softly in his mouth, "I can't do anything about it."

Amy shifted her body around, pushing Matt backwards towards the middle of the bed. She leaned over and pulled the sheet back over her body and lay down on her side, "I'm tired."

Matt was unsatisfied with her decision. He grasped her by the hips and pulled her back into the sitting position. He leaned in to kiss her, and moments later, he leaned forward and she was no longer able to balance. She was contented to let him take over.

He stopped and smiled, "Are you still tired?" he asked.

She nodded without a sound.

Before he could contemplate his next action, she kissed him once more, removing the towel from her body. Amy stopped this time, "We still need to go shopping."

Matt pushed himself off of her and rotated his body as he lay on his back, unfulfilled with the direction of the situation.

Amy leaned forward to his ear, "And I was going to say that it no longer mattered.' She wrapped her right leg over his torso and kissed the side of his face softly. 'But since you wanted to stop, I guess it does now." She kissed him once more before pulling herself away from his body, as her right arm reached for her towel which was still in between the covers.

Before she could sit up, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her upper body closer to his. He kissed her tenderly on her neck and rubbed her leg softly. "I'm sorry,' he whispered, 'Stay in bed. It's warm."

Amy shook her head, "Baby, you were going to get some…it's too late now."

Matt grasped her body closer and held her tightly, "Just lie here with me," he implored.

She extended her neck as she held his arm in her hands, "You're making it hard for me to storm off."

"Good," he mouthed.

"I'm cold Matt," she admitted. The temperature of her body had dropped substantially in the passing minutes. She pulled the covers over her shoulder in an attempt to stay warm.

His arms that were now draped around her body were experiencing a firmer grip.

"That's better," Amy responded.

"I'm glad I could be of service."

Her face boasted a smile, "So am I."

"The reason you are so cold is that your towel is soaked Amy," he said.

Matt reached over her body and picked up a shirt that he had left on the ground the night before. As he began to wrap it around her body, she resisted.

She breathed slowly and forced her body around to face his. Amy kissed him softly, and as they lost control of their actions, her body ended up on top of his.

Matt looked up at her smiled, "I thought you wanted to go shopping."

Amy's eyes widened, "I lied."

They kissed once again.

End Flashback


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16:

Three Months Later

"Babe, pass the tequila," Ashley said, pointing towards the bottle.

Matt picked the bottle up and poured himself a shot into his own glass, "In a second."

She proceeded to snatch the bottle from his hands, "Sorry, I've no patience."

Matt laughed, "I was aware of that."

"Matt, what time do we have to leave in the morning?" a voice called from across the room.

Matt turned around, "Eight…so I assume I'll see you at nine?"

Jeff nodded, "More than likely."

Ashley laughed, "Can we just get plastered without worrying about work?" she pleaded.

Matt agreed, "Exactly! The sitter is with Izzy, we have a week on the road and this is our last night of freedom."

"I'll drink to that," Shane said, as the three knocked back their shots.

Shane proceeded to enter the room and followed the earlier sentiment, "Ash, the bottle!"

"Shane, I don't think so," she replied, covering the bottle with her hands.

He walked over towards her, and once again snatched it from her hands, taking a shot from the bottle.

Matt coughed as Shane looked at him.

"Dude, are you sick?" he asked.

Matt nodded, "We all are."

"'We' referring to?" he enquired.

Matt coughed once more as he covered his mouth. He looked up at Shane, "We being Ash, Isabelle and I. Hence the lack of sharing with the tequila."

"Get ready for the soar throats and blocked noses Shane-o," Ashley added.

"How did you guys get so sick?" Shane demanded.

"Our daughter is in first grade, and five year olds aren't known for their hygiene on the playground," Matt explained, taking the bottle from Shane.

Ashley stood up and proceeded to sit next to Matt on the couch. Before she could sit, Matt put his arms around her waist and pulled her gently onto his lap.

Shane picked up his cell, "Hello…What time?...We'll see you then." He hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" Matt asked as he wrapped his arms even further around Ashley's waist.

"Amy and Sam, they'll be here in three minutes," Shane answered.

Ashley tilted her body to face Matt, "Did you want to go up stairs and make another baby?" she said with a laugh, kissing him.

Matt kissed her gently before his reply. "And if at first we don't succeed, we'll have to try again and again until we do."

She affirmed his thought with enthusiasm, "Exactly."

He kissed her neck softly, "Under any other circumstances, I would be stealth and make my way up without question, but we have two other people in the room right now."

Ashley smiled, "I know, I just wanted to see if you would actually do it."

Matt rested his chin on her shoulder, "You know what? I was wondering why my daughter had the personality of a snake, and now I look at her mother and know why."

He leaned back into the couch as Ashley readjusted her body.

Shane took the opportunity for revenge, "Is the lap dance really necessary?" he asked sarcastically.

Ashley shook her head grinning as threw her shot glass at him, "Shut up Shane.' She then winked, 'Don't be jealous."

He ducked the attack, "Matt, your girlfriend is oddly violent."

"I can deal with that.' Matt tightened his grip around her waist before Ashley pulled his arms off of her. "What did I do? Oh." He looked up and saw Amy and Sam standing in the hallway.

Jeff stood up to greet them, as did Ashley.

Jeff extended his arm, "How are you doing bro?" he asked.

Sam shook his hand, "I'm doing good thanks."

Ashley walked over and kissed Amy politely on the cheek. "Can I get you guys a drink?"

"Um…I can manage, but I could go for tequila. Sam is still slightly hung over from a week ago so he's the sober one for tonight," Amy responded, rubbing his arm and subtly mocking him in the process.

"Baby, thanks for pointing that out," Sam said to her with a fake smile.

"Any time," Amy said reassuringly.

"So where did you guys come from?" Ashley asked, as she went back to sit by Matt.

"Raleigh. I just flew in from Charleston and Amy was kind enough to pick me up from the airport." Sam sat down in the seat next to him.

Amy reached for the bottle of tequila.

"I wouldn't do that," Matt warned.

"Why?" Amy asked in confusion.

"It's the flu bottle. There is another in the fridge in the kitchen," he said, pointing to the other room.

"Why was that information not given to me?" Shane grimaced.

Ashley rolled her eyes, "You wouldn't let us."

Jeff laughed in the background, as did Sam.

Sam played with the keys in his pocket. "So what are we doing tonight?"

"Um…we're not sure actually," Ashley revealed as she zipped up her sweater.

"Are we just hanging out here?" Jeff questioned. While he enjoyed the occasional drink, he had refrained from alcohol for the night.

Matt nodded his head, "That sounds like a plan dude."

Ashley smiled at Matt as she leant over to kiss him.

Amy returned from the kitchen with a fresh bottle in hand. "Shane, I'd offer you some, but then I'd get the flu," she laughed.

Shane stamped his foot, "Is there some conspiracy against myself, alcohol and illness?"

Matt answered his question: "Dude, Ash and I were purposefully drinking from the same bottle because we are sick. You then proceeded to drink from it as well without even asking. Now, Amy is shielding her bottle for preventative measures."

"No, it's just funny to shit him up the wall." Amy corrected him. She then walked over to sit on the arm of Sam's chair.

Matt observed her movements momentarily before he was once again distracted by his girlfriend.

"Babe, should we check with the sitter?" she questioned.

Matt took out his cell, "I'll call now," he said, kissing her on the forehead before leaving for the kitchen.

"Where is Isabelle tonight?" Amy asked, cradling the bottle of tequila with one hand and Sam with the other.

"She's at Jeff's place tonight with a sitter actually. We were over there earlier and she totally ran out of gas, so she's sleeping the night over there," Ashley replied, cheerful at the mere thought of her daughter.

Amy smiled, "Damn, I was going to ask her if she'd like to spend the day with me next week. I am doing this thing with the local pound and I know how much she loves dogs," she added.

Matt returned to the room, relieved. He was back down next to Ashley, "She's fine," he whispered.

Ashley beamed with a sense of relief, "I'm glad.' She took Matt's hand before continuing. 'Amy was just talking about looking after Isabelle for the day next week. What do you think?"

Matt looked at Amy, who was now sitting on the arm of Sam's chair. He breathed, "That's sounds good. We can go to Raleigh for the day then," he added, now looking at Ashley.

"Great, sounds good." Amy put the bottle down on the ground.

Ashley looked at Matt, "What do we need to do in Raleigh?" she questioned.

Matt leaned in towards her ear, "We can start to try and make a baby at a hotel," he whispered softly, with a soft laugh.

Ashley pushed him away playfully, "Is that all you think about?"

Matt nodded, "As I said, I am still measuring up the pleasure of the production of the baby, and the raising of the baby."

Ashley rolled her eyes, "You're kidding?"

He nodded once more, "I am…producing definitely wins hands down."

"Can we please not talk about your producing please?" Shane implored as he grasped his throat, checking if it was already swollen.

Amy laughed, "I agree with that."

Both Matt and Ashley looked around, realising that their conversation was no longer between them.

Jeff shifted the topic, "Can we please put on some music?"

Ashley took another shot and put down the glass. "The Used," she suggested.

Sam thought for a moment, "Pearl Jam," he suggested.

Matt looked at Sam, "You're a good man. Pearl Jam me Jeffro."

Amy had moved from the arm of Sam's chair to his lap. "I didn't know you liked Pearl Jam," she commented.

"I don't…I just Googled Matt's favourite band in an effort to make a good impression," Sam responded.

A silence filled the room, as they all stared at Sam in shock.

He finished, "I'm kidding. I write about music for a living; Ten is in my top twenty records of all time."

A sense of relief returned.

"Dude, you freaked me out there for a second," Matt breathed.

Amy struck him harshly on the arm, "That wasn't funny."

Sam kissed her shoulder, "Neither was your mood the other morning…we'll call it even."

She attempted to move from her position on his lap, but his arms would not relent.

"Oh, snap," Shane cackled.

"I've got to give him that one, I'm sorry Amy," Jeff added.

Amy looked at Ashley for support – she found none. "Sorry, I have to agree…that was kind of funny Amy," Ashley chuckled.

"What ever happened to female solidarity?" she asked.

Ashley lowered her eyebrows, "It died along with the platform sandal."

"…And the pleather purse," Amy appended with a grin.

"So we should be grateful?" asked Ashley.

Amy nodded in agreement before returning her attention to Sam. She held is arms with her hands affectionately before turning to him, "Are you sure you don't want to drink?"

Sam shook his head, "I basically puked my out entire innards four nights ago, and I can't physically handle another drink."

Shane interrupted. "Are we just going to sit around all night and deliberate?" he wondered.

Matt grimaced. "Cry me a river Shane."

Ashley stopped Matt. "Actually, as much revulsion as this causes me,' she looked at Shane and returned her concentration to Matt, 'the man has a point."

"Being?" Matt requested.

"Well, we are all of a mature age. You'd think we'd have more to do on a Saturday night than sit around a house and drink til we can't drink anymore," she offered.

"Honey, I believe that was the point of this little gathering," Matt admitted. He was surprised by her opposition to the situation.

She was determined. "Yes, well, are we twenty one?"

Matt sat silent.

"Exactly,' she persisted, 'shouldn't we be doing something a little more eventful?"

Matt felt a sudden surge of agreement, "What? You want to go clubbing?" he asked derisively.

"Not clubbing perse, maybe a club or bar," Amy shot back from across the room.

"That has potential," added Jeff.

Matt was outnumbered but persevered in his line of reasoning. "How are we going to get there? We have all been drinking, and it's impossible to get a taxi on a Saturday night from here into Raleigh," he reasoned.

Sam raised his hand, "I haven't been drinking actually," he admitted.

"Good point," Amy said, looking at him.

"Thanks baby," he whispered in her ear.

Matt continued, "There are six of us."

"I have my Navigator, it can take seven," Sam countered.

Ashley returned to the conversation, "It's settled.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17:

Matt walked over to Amy, who was attempting to gain the bartenders attention.

"What are you ordering?" he asked.

Amy thought for a moment and moved forward towards the bar even more, "Vodka Sunrise," she answered.

Matt nodded, "I was thinking of doing an Absinth shot."

Amy laughed, "That will go straight through you."

He grinned eagerly, "I know."

She looked at her cell phone, "It's only twelve thirty, let's slow down."

"Okay," he agreed.

"Having a good time?" She examined his eyes, they were bloodshot.

Matt shook his head eagerly with enthusiasm, "Definitely."

Amy did not react to his dripping sarcasm, "Riveting." She turned away from him.

"Dude, I'm at a strip club, of course I am having a good time," he admitted.

Amy bowed her head in embarrassment, "Why did you bring us to a strip club?"

"Inspiration…' he stopped. 'Actually, I was talking to Sam before."

He had caught her attention. "About what?" she asked.

"Football, Pearl Jam, the new Lincoln…you," he finished.

Amy nodded, dumbfounded. "Okay."

"He's a good guy actually. I was surprised, I didn't know what to expect," he admitted.

She thought frantically, not wanting to offend Matt. "You should have expected that he would be a good guy. You think I'd date a bastard?" she laughed forcefully.

"You dated me," he joked.

Amy agreed, "And look how well that turned out."

Before Matt could answer, he felt a hand on his chest. He turned around and kissed Ashley softly on the cheek. "Hey mama, what's going on?"

Ashley was slurring slightly, "I think I should stop drinking," she admitted with an expression of amusement.

Matt held her adoringly, "Is she not a keeper?" he smiled.

Amy was quiet for a moment, "Definitely."

Matt kissed his girlfriend softly before walking her back over to the booth where the rest of the group were sitting.

Before she could order her drink, Jeff was standing beside her.

"Oh hey, I didn't see you," she confessed, losing her breath.

Jeff confirmed her response, "I have that effect on people."

Amy rolled her eyes.

"What are you drinking?" he asked.

Amy laughed to herself, realising that she had been asked that question previously by his brother. "Vodka Sunrise," she once again answered.

"That should go straight through you," Jeff noted.

Amy shook her head, "No, a shot of Absinth would." She turned around to look at Matt who was now sitting with Sam, Shane and Ashley.

"That's Matt's weapon of choice, isn't it?"

Amy nodded, "Yes, yes it is."

Jeff sat down on one of the bar stools. "So you guys seemed to have rekindled your friendship once again."

"Rekindled? I'm not sure about that," she admitted.

"Well, you guys are good friends again. It took a while," he said bluntly.

"It did."

Jeff looked at Sam, who was clutching a bottle of water. "Sam seems to be settling into North Cadalackie well."

"Yeah, he is. I always thought he'd find it a little rural," she divulged, once again trying to gain the bartender's attention.

Jeff smiled characteristically, "You did for a while."

"I didn't find it rural, I just wasn't sure that I wanted to spend the rest of my life in Cameron," she corrected him.

"Yet here we are, back in NC. We were in this exact same place eleven years ago," he revealed.

Amy was confused, "What do you mean?"

"Club 2000…well, Platinum Club now," Jeff smirked.

Amy thought for a moment, trying to understand the significance.

"Oh no, this isn't the place." She snorted out the remainder of her drink.

"We came here after a Mid-Atlantic show, remember? It was the first time we met you."

Amy bit her tongue, "And this is when…"

"…You first hooked up with my brother," he finished.

"Eleven years ago, I was making out with your brother in the back of his fucked up old Cougar outside of this shitty strip club." Amy could not get the image out of her head.

"Oh yes, what a pleasant memory it is," he said ironically.

She looked over at Matt who was sitting Ashley down. Before she could glance away, his eyes darted towards hers for a moment.

"Things have changed," she said to Jeff, still looking at Matt.

Jeff agreed, "They've definitely changed. I always thought you guys would be married and popping out kids like no tomorrow."

Amy cracked up laughing, "Why?"

"Because the first time you met each other you were making out with my brother in the back of his fucked up old Cougar outside of this shitty strip club."

"…And?" she asked.

He finished: "I assumed that at that rate, condoms could have only prevented so much," he laughed.

She punched his arm. "That is just dirty, and you are his brother."

Jeff supported his arm, "Dude, that's going to bruise."

Amy rolled her eyes, "Oh, chill Jeff."

Before they could continue, she felt a hand on her hip.

"Baby, are you drinking?" Sam asked.

Amy turned her head, "I've been trying to for the last ten minutes, but Hardys keep on interrupting me."

"Did you want to get going?" he suggested.

It was now two in the morning, her phone had been wrong.

"That sounds good," she admitted, feeling tired.

Jeff agreed, "I'll call a taxi for me and the lovely couple over there…and Shane. You guys are right to drive?" he asked.

Sam nodded, "I'm good. You ready to get going Amy?"

"Yes, I am. Drinkless and fancy free," she laughed.

"I'm going to go out and get the car, did you want to say goodbye to the others?" Sam questioned.

"Sounds good," she answered, kissing him on the cheek.

As he left the bar, she walked over to the rest of the group to end the night.

"Guys, we're going to book," she announced to Matt, Ashley and Shane.

Matt smiled, "It was good seeing you," he revealed.

"Yeah, you too."

Matt turned to Ashley, "Ash, I'm just going to walk Amy outside. I'll be back in a minute."

Ashley nodded, "Okay, Shane can keep me company."

Shane rolled his eyes at the notion of this.

Matt rose to his feet and began to walk with Amy towards the front door of the bar.

"So did you enjoy Club 2000…I'm sorry, Platinum Club?" she enquired with derision.

Matt nodded, "I've always loved strip clubs."

"You're funny." She was still searching for his reaction.

"I know," he admitted.

"This was Club 2000. Right?" Amy craved a response desperately.

He agreed, "Right. We've been here before I think."

"In '99?"

Matt reflected, "Yes."

She waited once more.

"Oh, I remember. This we're we, uh, this is where we…"

She stopped him, "Yeah."

"Shit, that was over a decade ago," she reminisced.

"Fuck we're getting old," Matt added.

Amy grinned as she zipped up her sweater.

"Sam's bringing the Navigator around," she informed him.

"You've stepped it up…a Cougar to a Navigator, quite a jump Ames."

They continued to walk as they reached the front door of the club.

Amy pointed to the wall.

"That's where we spontaneously started tearing each other's clothes off." Matt was trying not to be nostalgic.

"Now we just need to find a hot tub to highlight where the night finished," she quipped back.

Matt took his cell phone out of his pocket, "Well, I can give Slim a call," he threatened.

Amy looked out to the road, searching for Sam's truck, she saw no sign. "I think we'll be right."

"So, you're looking after Izzy for a day next week?" he asked, changing the subject.

She confirmed, "That's the plan."

"Are you ready for a challenge? Because she has the energy of Ashley…on crack," he laughed.

"I think we'll be alright. I mean, I handled you for six years…I am pretty sure I can handle your offspring."

He smiled, "Don't say I didn't warn you."

"Hey I've worked out the difference between us now and us then."

"What?" Matt was fascinated.

"We're actually sober…or you are at least," she said jokingly.

Matt nodded, "Yeah, it's such a shame."

"We fucked up that night didn't we?"

He didn't understand, "How?"

"We began something we shouldn't have," she admitted.

"We didn't fuck up for a long time. And until we did, it was worth it," Matt confessed.

Before she could respond, she heard Sam's voice.

"Amy, are you ready to go?" he yelled from the truck.

"I'll see you tomorrow Ames," Matt said as he left.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18:

January 2006

Matt stared at the door, waiting for his girlfriend to enter the locker room, but there was no sign of Ashley. Before he could look back to the floor, he saw the door open. It was Amy.

"Oh, hey. I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were in here," she said, preparing to leave.

Matt stopped her, "Don't worry; I was just waiting for Ashley."

Amy smiled, trying to hide her envy. "So how are things going there?"

"They're going great actually. I've been meaning to talk to you about that."

She was perplexed, "Why?" She did not know why her former boyfriend of six years wanted to speak her about his girlfriend of six months.

"I wanted to tell you something before rumours started floating around." He stood up from his seat.

"Okay." Amy did not know what to expect, but knowing the tone of her voice, she knew it was significant.

"I started seeing Ashley after you and I…you know."

She knew he was talking about the demise of their relationship, "Yeah."

Matt breathed. "Things have going really well."

Amy did not want to hear much more, "That's great Matt, that's really great," she said in a frustrated tone.

He corrected himself, "I'm not gloating Amy."

"Then what are you doing?"

Matt suddenly felt a weight in his stomach. "I'm trying to tell you what's happening in my life."

She raised her voice, "Then tell me so I can get the hell out of here Matt."

"Ashley's pregnant Amy," he said softly.

Amy stood silent, not knowing what to say or how to react. Though she knew he had moved on into another relationship, she had not been ready for this.

She fought back the tears that were forming behind her eyes. "Congratulations. I really think that I should go now."

"No, I mean, don't go," he pleaded.

"What do you want me to do Matt? Do you really want me to be happy for you? Your girlfriend is pregnant and you're basically informing me that your life is now changed forever." It had finally begun to sink in.

"I wanted you to know." His words were simple and he did not want to hurt her.

"I know now."

He recognised the pain and confusion in her eyes; it was the same he had experienced when he had become aware of her relationship with Adam the previous year.

"Do you love her?"

"I do." He loved Ashley, but at the same time, there was doubt in his mind, doubt that was only amplified by Amy's presence.

Amy had somehow prevented the tears from falling. "Well then we have nothing left to say."

Matt tried to explain himself. "Amy, I missed you, but I learnt to…I mean I got used to living without you in my life. I'm sorry."

As she prepared to respond, she heard the door open behind her. It was Ashley.

"Hey," she said, not noticing the tension.

Amy forced a smile, "Hey Ash. I was just leaving."

End Flashback


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19:

Matt and Ashley sat at opposite sides of the kitchen table. She cradled her head, trying to minimise the painful hangover that she was experiencing.

Matt proceeded to pour himself a cup of coffee. "Ash, honey, would you like some more?" he asked teasingly.

"No thanks," she replied.

"Aspirin?" he offered.

She shook her head once more, "No thanks."

"We have to pick up Isabelle soon," he added.

Ashley sighed, "Don't remind me. I don't think she'll appreciate, 'Izzy, Mommy is hung over, so no loud noises'. I really don't."

Matt laughed at the prospect.

"It's six in the morning…I have to be out of here in two hours and then I am on the road for five days." He stood up with a sigh and moved his chair next to hers.

Ashley rose to her feet, "I think I need a shower or some form of drug."

Matt followed, stepping over towards her. "Try McDonalds, that always works."

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, and then I can spend the next three hours of the morning running it off."

"And the hang over."

She stared at him before walking towards the door of the kitchen.

Matt turned to her, "We have two hours before our five year old returns to the house."

She spun back around and looked towards him. "You have a good point."

Ashley put her hand on top of his as he held on to the wall. He turned his hand to clutch hers as he reached out and pulled her into a kiss. They stumbled up against the fridge. She jumped up to wrap her legs around his waist, still kissing him. He carried her over to the kitchen table and laid her down forcefully as she slowly began to undo the buttons on his shirt.

"Did we interrupt something?" a voice asked.

They stopped and turned to the hallway, Jeff was standing there, carrying a sleeping Isabelle.

Matt let go of Ashley, clenched his fist and turned to his brother, "Oh nothing. Just me having sex with my girlfriend."

"Good." Jeff walked into the kitchen and passed his niece over to her father.

"Thanks," Ashley said, tying her robe back up.

"You guys really should lock the door, you know?" he added.

Matt kissed his daughter on the forehead and looked at Jeff with frustration. Before he could say anything, he felt her head move.

"Daddy?" she yawned.

He smiled, "Yeah honey, it's me."

She finally opened her eyes, "I want to go to bed," she yawned once more.

He rubbed her back, "I'll take you up stairs now Izzy…shhh."

Matt smiled at Ashley softly as he left the room and disappeared up the stairs with Isabelle in hand.

"Coffee?" she offered Jeff.

Jeff shook his head, "I'll be alright. I brought her home because she kept waking up all night and I thought she could at least get a good few hours in the morning."

"That's fine," she agreed.

He raised his hands defensively, "I really didn't mean to interrupt you guys."

Slightly embarrassed, she nodded once more. "Don't worry about it."

"Well, I should probably get going home. Matt's picking me up in three hours and I still have shit loads of stuff to do back home."

"All right, I'll see you in a couple of days."

Jeff began to walk out, "Exactly. Have a good week…and again, I'm sorry."

"I'll see you Jeff."

She saw Matt walk back down the stairs, but before he could respond angrily to Jeff's entrance, Jeff had walked out the front door.

"Is she asleep?" she asked quietly, trying not to wake up Isabelle.

"Yeah, she's really tired,' he confirmed. 'She just fell into bed like a ten tonne brick."

Ashley began to walk up the stairs, finally meeting him half way.

He instinctively tried to move out of her way, "Sorry."

She shook her head, "I'm not trying to get through."

"What are you trying to do?" Matt was baffled.

Without haste, she kissed him and pushed him up the stairs.

"What are we doing?" he breathed.

"Finishing." She began to rub his back under his shirt.

-

-

-

-

Sam reached over Amy to turn off the alarm that had been buzzing for two minutes.

"Why didn't you turn it off?" he yawned, as he sat up in bed.

She did not move, "Because I figured you eventually would."

He laughed, "Gosh, Amy, what would I do without you?"

Amy turned over and looked up at him, "You'd sleep a lot better," she smiled.

"But then I wouldn't have all these pleasant memories," he joked.

"Well yeah, that too." She finally sat up, leaning against the head board.

Sam rubbed his eyes, "I am so tired."

"The mediocre sex didn't help." Amy was too tired to be subtle.

As was he. "Two parties were equally responsible for contributing to that mediocrity Amy."

She nodded in agreement, rubbing her eyes.

"I should've drank last night. I was so fucking tired, I needed a buzz or something," he admitted.

Amy yawned, her eyes were now watering. "Trust me, it didn't help me."

He looked at the clock once more, "Shit, I have to drive back to Raleigh for a meeting with my editor in an hour. What time are you leaving?"

"I think Matt and Jeff are picking me up in like two hours," she replied, yawning.

Sam was slightly disappointed, but did not reveal his feelings. "That's fine; I was just about to offer you a lift. I didn't know those guys drove you to the airport."

"Um…they don't normally. But we were all scheduled on the same flight for the taping, so we figured two birds with one stone. You know?" Amy stretched her arms, poking his head in the process.

"Thanks, I appreciated that." He stood up and walked over to his bag, picking up a shirt.

"Can you pass me a sweater? I am freezing," she requested, rubbing her arms.

Sam continued to button up his shirt, "Just let me get dressed first."

"And in the process you can pass me a sweater," Amy joked.

He raised his voice, with slight frustration, "Can I just do up my God damn shirt first Amy?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "I'm sorry."

Once again, he rubbed his eyes. "I didn't mean to snap. I'm just really tired."

She shook her head, "It's fine."

He leaned over to the couch and passed her a hooded sweatshirt that was lying over the arm.

"Thanks," she said, as she placed it over her head.

"I should get going. I'll pick up some breakfast in Raleigh." He picked up his bag and walked towards the door, leaving the room before she could respond.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20:

Amy opened the front door of the car and sat down.

"Hey," Matt said, as he started the ignition.

"Hey. Where's Jeff?" she asked.

Matt pointed to the back seat. Amy turned around and saw Jeff slumped across the back seat, asleep. She laughed to herself.

"How are you doing?" he asked as he reversed out of the driveway.

"Good. Just a little tired, slightly hung over and very hungry," she added.

Matt nodded, "Me too. God bless airport food."

"What time did you guys get home last night?"

He thought for a moment, "Like three or something. And we woke up at like six, it was ridiculous."

"Yeah." Amy agreed as she looked out the window.

"It was weird being back there last night." Matt admitted.

"It was. It was kind of surreal actually." Amy stopped thinking about Sam.

"I just…I feel guilty when I think about it." He had gone over the events of then night prior a thousand times in his head, but all he could conclude was confusion.

She did not understand his sentiments, "I'm sorry? I don't get you."

"I just kept on thinking about when we were together. It was just so easy. And I thought about you, and us, and I get confused. But then, I go home to my daughter and my girlfriend, and I feel guilty. Because I shouldn't be thinking about us and I am consciously aware of that." He felt a release in telling her, though at the same time realising for the first time that the situation was real.

Amy looked back to see Jeff still asleep. After a moment, she began to respond. "You've basically come full circle in your plans. You wanted a stable home life, kids, and a career…basically the old school nuclear set up. Now, minus the one point five child you are missing, you've pretty much nailed what you've always wanted. Whereas I'm nearly thirty six, I'm still working full time in a job that does not help my personal life, and that is more than likely going to be damaging to me in the long run. I haven't settled down. I have a boyfriend, but at the same time, I don't know where I'm going to be in a year."

"I don't get where you're going with this Amy." Matt tried to concentrate on the road, but was still distracted by Amy.

"My point is, you're thinking about us because you're scared that you're life is on track, and I'm doing it because I have no idea where mine is going. I want a family, and I want to settle down, but that's not on the cards for me right now. And I feel like it would be if I was still with you, and if I hadn't messed up with Adam. That's why I feel guilty." She once again turned to the back of the car instinctively.

Matt knew she was right. "So what are we doing?"

"We're having doubts about our decisions which is completely natural." She tried to reassure herself that she was not doing anything wrong.

"And we're spending more time together. When we got together, we bonded over the fact that we spent all those hours on the road by ourselves and with Jeff; we're just doing the same thing. Only now I'm engaged with a child, and you are dating someone." He tilted his head.

Amy laughed, "That so does not sound right."

Matt nodded, "Yeah, I just realised that as the words left my mouth." He leaned forward to turn off the stereo.

"Speaking of engagement, are you guys ever going to actually get married? I mean, we all got an invite to the engagement party a couple of months ago, but nothing actually surfaced."

"I'm not sure what's going on there,' he admitted, 'I think the engagement was a formality."

"I don't get it."

Matt continued, "Ash doesn't need to be married, and neither do I. We were just following convention I guess."

"Of course,' she added, 'I mean, six years, I never heard a mention of an engagement ring," she laughed. She was not intentionally provoking a response, but she could not recant the comment.

"That you saw, anyway," he commented. Matt looked away from her, hoping she had not heard his mumbling.

"What was that?" Amy could not believe what she heard.

"Nothing…I was just mumbling under my breath." He had failed to convince her.

"No you weren't." She was determined to get an explanation.

Matt again tried to remedy the situation, "I didn't mean anything by it."

Amy could hear the stagger in his voice. "Yeah, you did."

"It was nothing. I just…towards the end, I did." He had at a different time in his life, vowed never to tell her.

"What do you mean?" She felt a need to know.

"Around February of 2005, I was looking at engagement rings. I was ready to marry you." Matt looked ahead to the road.

She was shocked. "I never knew."

"I told Jeff to never tell anyone."

"Jeff knew? Was I ever going to find out?" Amy felt a surge of both outrage and frustration.

"You turned out to be screwing my best friend, so, nothing ever came of it," he returned, spitefully.

She shook her head, "No, it doesn't work that way. I messed up, I've admitted that a thousand times. We've moved on. But you never told me that."

Matt pulled over to the side of the road, stopping the car.

"What are you doing?" Amy questioned.

"I'm pulling over so I don't crash." He had tried to act in a rational manner, but he could not do so while driving

"That's…"

He stopped her. "Don't. It wasn't my role to tell you that I wanted to marry you. Okay, I was in love with you – you knew it. We never needed to discuss it, because you knew that I would eventually make the move. It was never a fucking question Amy. Don't act shocked, because you knew it was going to happen. The only reason it didn't was because I found out you were sleeping with Adam."

Amy couldn't respond. She could not find the words.

"So please, don't get angry. It never happened, but it was supposed to. I wanted it to. But it was all shot to shit." He turned the ignition back on and returned to the road.

Jeff finally awoke. "Amy, morning."

She turned around, "Yeah, morning."

"What's he bitching about now?" he yawned.

Amy didn't reply. Jeff shrugged his shoulders and closed his eyes once more.

"Then don't blame me because you are insecure about your life now." Her temper had reached bowling point.

"I'm not blaming you."

"No, you're just dredging up how if I hadn't messed up, you wouldn't have your life. And if I weren't here, you wouldn't be questioning it.' She took a breath before continuing. 'You chose to be where you are. If you aren't happy, then do something about it. Don't make me feel bad because of it Matt."

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad. It's just frustrating." He opened the window a little, letting some air into the car.

"Why? Why is it frustrating?" She was truly confused.

"Because I went from being so mad at you, for so long, to wanting you back for the longest time. When I heard about you and Adam, I was so…I'd never felt that way before. And I was just so angry at you. And then when I started to miss you, I got angry at myself because I shouldn't have been grieving." He looked ahead towards the road.

Amy listened.

"It was so fucked. I moved on with Ashley so quickly after we broke up and then when we found out about Isabelle, I had to change my feelings. I had to stop missing you. And it worked for a while. My daughter distracted me, and I loved Ashley. But there's this part of me that keeps bringing my mind back to you and it's so fucked up."

She nodded, "I know."

"Last night…I wanted you. And I can't do that to Ashley…"

She finished, "I know."

"…Or our daughter. I'm angry because I wanted you so bad lastly night. Because everything was so familiar and it just seemed so easy. Nothing seems that easy now." Matt did not know why he was admitting all of this, but he felt a sense of relief as he spoke the words.

"Of course nothing is easy. You have a child Matt. Every decision you make now impacts someone else's life in some capacity." Amy reflected upon the fact that Matt's feelings were mutual.

"The thing is, it's like I'm knocking my head against a brick wall while on crystal meth. It's fucking me up internally, and I'm bleeding, but I can't feel it. That's what it's like with you."

Amy tilted her head, "Yeah, that's a nice rationalization. I appreciate that." She laughed to herself.

Matt smiled. "You know what I mean. After we broke up, there were so many variables involved that I was constantly on an emotional roller coaster. I just kept trying to either make us work, or to understand it was definitely over. But I never came to a conclusion about where we ended and where Ashley and I began."

Amy nodded, "Okay, that's a little better."

"But what I know is that I wasn't meant to walk this world without you. The problem is that I don't know if that is as a friend…or as a lover." Matt looked in the mirror and saw Jeff still sleeping.

"Maybe when it's okay to hold my hand without that confusion, we'll finish this for the better. I just want to show you everything that you missed in the past, every detail. And I'll try to let you see me completely. I've never wanted to do that before."

He nodded. "It's funny, I've kept on telling myself and warning myself that I shouldn't touch the fire twice. But I can't help it."

"The thing is, I am so fucking confusing. And I can't let you work me out while I'm sharing a bed with Sam, and you're sharing a life with Ashley. I can't do that to them. The reason I hurt you in the past was because I started something without considering the consequences of my actions. Look how that turned out. I know that we're going to work this out one day, but right now, we can't."

"We'll probably never have it all figured out," Matt added.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21:

"I just dropped her off at school," Ashley spoke on her cell, as she drove home.

"Isn't it like ten?" Trish asked.

"Yeah, we got in late last night." Ashley laughed to herself.

"It turns out married life for five years has settled me down. I was in bed at eleven," Trish joked.

Ashley turned into the driveway and stopped the car. "I wish. We got home at like three and I was completely trashed. Matt had to get up early for a flight and then Izzy was dropped off at six o'clock and had to be at school by eight thirty. I am both hung over and freakishly tired." She was exhausted.

Trish laughed at her friend's description. "So how are things on the home front?"

"Izzy's great," she replied.

"And everything else?" Trish continued.

"Good I guess." She held back her response.

Trish sensed the apprehension in her tone, "You guess?"

"It's nothing," Ashley added.

"It's not nothing obviously Ash."

"It's not something I can talk to you about…it's a conflict of interest." Ashley tried to divert the direction of the conversation: she failed.

"It's about Matt?" Trish questioned.

"And…"

Trish finished, "Amy."

"I can't talk to you about this," Ashley said with a concerned tone.

"Why? Because Amy's an old friend?"

She concurred, "Exactly."

Trish responded. "Ash, you were both at my wedding and you are both my friends. Thus, I am a neutral source of knowledge. Just tell me."

Ashley was nervous, "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

She took a breath. "I was kind of trashed last night, okay; I was really trashed last night. But I saw Matt walk Amy outside the bar last night…and there was a moment."

"What do you mean?" Trish enquired.

"I don't know…there was just something there. I can't explain it."

Trish tried to reassure her friend, "They're old friends Ash. I'm sure it they were just talking."

"It's just that, they're close. And I've no problem with it. My best friends in the world are guys. I've nothing against cross gender friendships…okay, that came out the wrong way. I mean, it goes both ways. I have guys in my life, and he's cool with that, the feeling is mutual and it's never been an issue in the past. But…"

"…You didn't date any of them for six years?"

"Exactly," Ashley answered.

"I don't know what to say," Trish said, confused and worried.

Ashley nodded to herself, "Um…say whatever. I don't have questions."

"Alright…honestly? They had a pretty intense relationship when they were together. I'll give them that. And they've been through a lot…Amy's neck was this major obstacle that they somehow got through, unscathed. Their relationship got stronger from it – and then there was Adam. But that doesn't mean that anything is happening between them. I mean, with Sam and everything, I'm sure they're just trying to work through the weird."

Ashley opened the door of the house and walked in, "I know."

"And Matt would never do that to you. He's not that guy."

Ashley agreed, "I know. He never would…intentionally I mean. But I can just see the way he looks at her, and the way he talks about her."

"How do you mean?"

"When I asked him how they met a couple of months ago, there was this look on his face. His eyes lit up. And they laugh together constantly and they get into these ridiculous disputes over everything." She recalled their conversation in the car, months earlier on Amy's birthday.

Trish did not know what to say.

"Were they happy?" Ashley asked.

Trish paused for a moment, trying to select her words carefully. "When Amy and Matt were together, it was always difficult to tell what was going on between them…happy or not. They were just engrossed with each other. But Matt always treated her like one of the boys in the locker room; she was never treated like a girlfriend. You'd never see her on his lap making out with him while eating lunch. It wasn't like that. At the same time, they were never settled. When they fought, they fought. They are both so stubborn, and because of that, they spent a lot of the time butting heads because they are so similar. They loved each other…but that was a long time ago. Before you, and before Isabelle."

Ashley swallowed. "He still loves her," she asserted in a low voice.

"He loves you,' Trish said. 'If he didn't love you, he wouldn't be invested in making your relationship work."

"That's not true,' Ashley corrected. 'He's trying to make us work because he loves his daughter."

"I've known Matt for over a decade now. He's not the kind of guy to hang around if a relationship isn't working, or if he isn't ready to invest himself in it one hundred percent."

"It's been six years…but it's not working anymore. I don't know, I love him, but I can't settle for second place. I'm not ready to spend my life being his succeeding choice. I deserve more than that." She closed the door behind her as she entered into the house.

"Just don't underestimate him yet Ash," Trish added.


End file.
